Celebrant Pam Meily Vetter


	Celebrating Life Everyone Has A Story...

Betty Jane (Lindsey) Messersmith was born in Peoria, Illinois, to Mary and Clyde Lindsey in 1929. Betty was the youngest of 13 children. The family lived on a farm. Her father worked hard as an engineer who opened the mines and he used divining rods to let everyone know where to dig their wells. Sadly, Betty's mother died when she was only six-years-old and her father died when she was 13. Betty's brothers and sisters cared for the younger children and their home was filled with love as family is family forever. In high school, Betty was in Glee Club and she was the lead in school plays. She started dating classmate Jim Messersmith. Betty and Jim knew each other since the age of 12. As high school sweethearts, Betty was the Class President while Jim was the Class Vice President. After they graduated from high school in Princeville, Illinois, in 1948, the couple married in 1949 and enjoyed their honeymoon in Chicago.

Betty's greatest joys in life came with the births of their daughters two years apart: Janice and Vicki. She loved being a mom and embraced her role in their lives. After Jim suffered double pneumonia, the doctors advised him to move to a warm, dry climate for his health. In 1954, Betty and Jim scoped out Southern California because Betty's brother, Don, had moved here. In 1955, Betty, Jim and the girls moved to California and over the years, one by one, half of Betty's siblings also moved west. Betty was delighted that so much of her family moved to Southern California, but she always made a point to take a summer vacation to visit family in Illinois.

Professionally, Jim worked in construction, while Betty had her own maintenance business. Betty's crew was responsible for the initial cleanup of new apartment buildings before the official openings. It was hard work, but she ran it like a drill sergeant. One time, Jan, saw her mother hanging out of a second story window scrubbing everything down. In her later years, Betty worked as an office manager and bookkeeper. When she retired from working outside of the home, she still worked for Jim doing his books. She didn't officially retire until this past July.

As a mother, Betty gave their daughters early responsibility. Stemming from her experiences early in life, she wanted them to be prepared. As they were growing up, the girls had certain jobs they were responsible for and Betty came through with the white glove test. If it wasn't cleaned right, she had them clean it again. As an intuitive mom, she always checked the best hiding spot under the bed. She was very strong, stern, and extremely fair. She lived by the words, "What one gets, the other gets." Betty also taught the girls respect. "No meant no" and "right was right and wrong was wrong." She was extremely supportive of Jan and Vicki's interests and she went to every school activity. She attended Vicki's sporting events and Jan's band performances. She went to all of their teacher nights from elementary all the way through high school. Betty made the time for her daughters and never missed a special time at school. Even when they went to the principal's office, Betty was there. She was truly a devoted mother who was involved every step of the way.

Betty had a strong sense of family because family was everything in her life. The family traveled by car across the country to visit with her family in Illinois for two weeks each summer. She was very close to her siblings, nieces and nephews. In Southern California, she did everything with her family. Every weekend their entertainment was spending time having fun with family. They got together at their homes sharing pot luck meals, setting up the card tables and playing card games into the wee hours of the morning such as Rummy, Pinochle, Tripoli, and Hearts. Sometimes 50 to 60 people showed up for a spontaneous party on a Sunday. The family didn't wait for a holiday or Christmas to get together. They'd gather around and listen to relatives play the guitar or organ and sing along. With her Scott-Irish heritage, music was big in the family and she gave the girls a love of music. Her favorites were big band music and songs by singers such as Patsy Cline and more recently Bette Midler and Celine Dion. While her sister, Helen, was known for her pies and pastries, Betty was a great cook and famous for her baked beans and macaroni and cheese.

Betty was a girlie-girl, who always used a curling iron, had her hair done every week and her fingernails were always polished in pale pinks. She dressed conservatively most of her life, but over the last decades she was wearing brighter colors. She loved to read romance novels, especially novels by Danielle Steel and Catherine Anderson, and she got Jan interested in the reading the novels, too. She had lots of funny sayings including, "If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all," and "The bigger they are, the harder they fall." She loved flowers, especially Orchids, Gerber Daisies, Plumerias, and perennial flowers.

For 40 years, Betty loved gambling and she was good at it. She visited Las Vegas several times a year and by playing the slot machines, she was a winner pictured with the big oversized checks with several wins. She was the Keno Queen and she had fun taking a chance. When they asked Betty how she won so often, with a smile and a wink she said, "Luck of the Irish!" Mother's Day in Vegas was always fun. Betty enjoyed going to Las Vegas, Palm Desert, and Agua Caliente to gamble. Her last trip to Las Vegas was with Vicki in January 2009. Most importantly, she loved to laugh and spend time with her family.

Every year Betty and Jim celebrated their wedding anniversaries. For the milestones, they had special vacations. On their 25th, three couples went to Hawaii for two weeks to celebrate their anniversary. For their 40th and in honor of Betty's Scott-Irish heritage, Vicki sent them to Scotland, Ireland and Wales. When they went to visit the Blarney Stone, Betty told Jim, "Don't kiss the Blarney Stone, because you never stop talking as is." It was funny, because according to legend, if you kissed the Blarney Stone it gave you the gift of gab. For her three grandchildren, Betty was a wonderful grandma. She was very involved in their lives and attended all of their activities at school. When Jennifer graduated from high school, they celebrated in Las Vegas, which coincided with Betty and Jim's 50th wedding anniversary.

With a love of animals, Betty had pets when the girls were growing up. They had dogs first and over the last 10 years, she had two cats that Jennifer named Hollywood and Vine. When Hollywood died, Betty was devastated, but Vine stayed by her side wherever she went in the house and even slept on her bed.

One of the hardest things Betty did was to give up her driver's license. While she was frustrated by giving up her independence, she still lived life, enjoying time with her family. She went to Disneyland regularly with the family and never let anything stop her. The last time she went to Disneyland, she used a wheelchair but still went on all of the rides including Splash Mountain.

Betty always wanted to be home and she was at home until the end with the help of her CNA Sitters who were four nurses from West Hills Hospital – Rosa, Delores, Gloria and Rosa. For two months, they took care of Betty at home, maintaining her dignity at all times. They were wonderful people helping the family as they cared for her, got her to eat, and even did her nails and hair for her. Jan, Vicki and the entire family were grateful for their amazing care. When Betty went back to the hospital, the nurses visited her and one of their sons even said a prayer around her bed. She had cheated death so many times before and she was fighting to live, negotiating with God. She passed away the way she wanted to go, peacefully in her sleep, while her daughters, Jan and Vicki, and her granddaughter Jennifer, were by her side holding her hands. All of her nurses went to her room when she died and one of them said, "She has six daughters now." Everyone who met Betty was really part of her family.

Betty Messersmith was very strong-willed, independent, patient, gracious and fair. For her husband, Jim, she was a wonderful life partner. Betty's purpose in life was to raise decent human beings in her family and she did exactly that with her daughters as a terrific mother. She knew the importance of a mother and father and took nothing for granted. There was nothing hidden about Betty, because what you saw is what you got. Betty will best be remembered as the mother to two and the mother to many. Everybody called her "Mom," even her daughters' friends. She always told her daughters, "I love you." Betty was a people person. In fact, people gave her joy in life as she carried a piece of everybody with her.

With family photos by her side, Betty will be laid to rest next to her brother, Don, in Desert Memorial Park Cemetery in Cathedral City, California. Betty believed in God and Heaven and her family believes they will be reunited with her one day. The family will miss Betty. They are heartbroken because she was the best. They will miss her presence and everything about her, because she was the glue holding everyone together. She was the strongest woman that Jennifer knows and truly the strongest woman in the family. Natalie, her granddaughter-in-law, really hit it off with Betty and she wishes she would have known her longer because she was pure, giving and family-oriented. Betty's advice to everyone now would be: "Suck it up, pull it together, be strong, and get on with your lives. I'll see you when you get here."

Betty was preceded in death by her parents and 11 of her siblings. She is loved and remembered by her husband Jim; daughter Janice and her husband John; daughter Vicki; granddaughter Jennifer and her boyfriend Gilbert; grandson James; grandson Justin and his wife Natalie; sister Kay; nieces, nephews, cousins, extended family and many friends.

Memorial donations are welcome in Betty Messersmith's name to her favorite charity World Vision.

Betty's family wants to thank everyone for celebrating her life and giving her joy…