Celebrant Pam Meily Vetter


	Celebrating Life Everyone Has A Story...

Charlene Grace (Golden) Gower was born in Oklahoma to Lena and Charles Golden in 1920. Charlene had a good childhood and was close with her siblings Bertha, Bill and Clyde. When she turned 5, Charlene moved west with her mother. In fact, her mother drove the family car, with a crank on the front of it, all the way to Southern California. Her mother found domestic work and they lived with her mother's sister. When job opportunities opened up, Charlene's father and two uncles joined the family in California. Her mother taught piano and as a result of this musical influence, Charlene loved to play the piano and sing. She also loved music, enjoyed dancing, and she always loved reading mysteries.

As a teenager, she was sleepwalking and once found herself on the railroad tracks in the middle of the night. Being proactive, she tied her feet together so she couldn't walk in her sleep anymore. She was outgoing and teased others for fun. One time, she replaced the toothpaste with something else and played a joke on her uncle. She could be a character at times. In school, Charlene was a good student. By excelling, she skipped two grades and graduated from Polytechnic High School in January of 1937 at the young age of 17. She spent two years at Business College and became an Executive Secretary. Charlene was a very proud lady who was reserved and refined.

She married Walter Lyon, who was in the Army, and the couple had a beautiful daughter whom they named Sandra. When Sandra was two-years-old, the couple grew apart and divorced, and later, Charlene married Tom Warren Gower, who was serving in the Navy. The couple had three more children: Etsel, Judy and Lynne. Their family was complete with four wonderful children. While Tom worked as a school principal for 35 years in Los Angeles, Charlene was a homemaker. She loved rocking her babies, as she loved kids. She was always devoted to her family. Charlene had an immaculate, tidy house and she was a wonderful homemaker. The most important thing in her life was to raise a family and be independent.

Supporting her children and their schools, she was a member of the PTA. In fact, Judy's earliest memory is of her mother attending parent-teacher conferences at her elementary school. When Sandy was in the second grade, Charlene accepted babysitting jobs for her. And, when Sandy was 15, Charlene found a notice that the May Company was hiring and she agreed to vouch that Sandy was 16 so she could go to work. Charlene was very protective of her kids and into their adulthood. If she thought a situation was dangerous, she let them know by advising them to close your windows, lock your doors, be careful getting out of your car, and watch out for strangers. She was very practical, cautious, caring and nurturing. She was also a great listener and gave good advice.

As the wife of a principal, Charlene always attended the events she was expected to attend. She really appreciated time with her friends as well. After Tom went to work, four or five of her friends sometimes came over to the house and the girls had a coffee clique. They'd enjoy a cup of coffee and a smoke.

In her family time, she was a supportive wife and she always laughed at Tom's jokes. Tom enjoyed taking the kids to the beach as they'd catch tropical fish for aquariums that Tom built, while Charlene always stayed in the car watching the ocean from a distance. She really loved the outdoors from the indoors because she was a fair-skinned beauty. Lynne's earliest memory of her mother is riding her tricycle and riding into the rose bushes. She remembers her mother comforting her by rocking her in the rocking chair. She was always there for her kids. Lynne remembers her mother taking her to school and picking her up. After school, there was something homemade to eat. She was a dedicated mother, housekeeper and wife who was very religious. She did her job as a mother very well.

Christmas was a wonderful holiday. As children, they would wrap all the presents, pack up the car, dog and all, and travel to Texas to have Christmas with their grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins on their Dad's side of the family. One time they went to visit Charlene's side of the family in Oklahoma. This was something they really looked forward to. Getting together with their cousins was such great fun. It was an adventure and it was some of the BEST of TIMES.

Charlene had a strong sense of family - Family First. Her philosophy was to keep family ties together, either by phone or writing, if they lived far away; or get together for the ones that lived close by. Judy has taken this concept and applied it to her own family. She has instilled in all three of her children, that it is ok to have differing opinions. They agree to disagree, but remain friends in the end to support each other through times of need.

Charlene taught Judy that the support you receive from your family gives you strength and courage to get through life's challenges, detours and bumps in the road. She also taught Judy how to handle money, the value of a dollar and again, she passed that concept onto her children. Judy started her children on a paper route (each one had their own) at an early age of 5 or so. They opened up their own bank account and were able to start saving. Charlene had a great influence on their lives, as she and Tom were known as Nana and Papa to their grandchildren.

With a big heart, Charlene loved animals. There were many Dobermans and fish in the home over the years. Her favorite hobby was reading. She was a voracious reader who loved mysteries, romance, murder novels and biographies. She even enjoyed learning a new word by looking through the dictionary to add another word to her vocabulary. She loved to read magazines that would keep her informed of her favorite stars and TV personalities. She also had a great passion for crossword puzzles. Her favorite soap opera was All My Children, which she watched from the day it started until her last. She loved to go shopping and liked to go out for a cup of coffee and something to eat. She loved chocolate. Sandra remembers when she was a child, her mother gave her 18 cents to buy a bag of chocolate chips and it was a treat that would last. Her mother read mysteries and ate chocolate chips while she was reading. Charlene liked all chocolate treats, chocolate cakes, and See's Candies. Her favorite color was blue, but she liked dressing in red and wearing red lipstick. Sandra was a cosmetologist who oftentimes cut and styled her mother's hair.

Charlene shared her love of music and dancing with the family and that influenced her children in different ways. Sandy yearned to learn the piano and loved music. Judy and Lynne learned piano and Etsel learned guitar. Lynne took some dance/jazz in college and post-college for a while. Judy had her children take music and dance lessons and get involved in musical theater, choir and band. In recent years, Charlene or Tom would put on the music, especially Jim Reeves or other country western music, and she would sing or dance by herself, with Tom, Lynne or her grandkids. She used to talk about how much she liked music and dancing when she was younger.

After the kids had families of their own, the holidays were wonderful. The entire family got together for a big Christmas Celebration. They'd enjoy Christmas Eve at Sandra's house and they spent Christmas day at mother's home. About 30 family members enjoyed a huge holiday meal together at a hotel on Christmas evening. It was a lovely gathering. They also got together for Thanksgiving at their parents' home. For Easter and some of the other special days and birthdays, they would meet at a restaurant, if not at the parent's house. It was always fun to get together and the grandchildren always looked forward to those times. Later in life, Charlene became active in the Lakewood Community Church in which she became a Deacon and joined a women's group and a prayer group.

Throughout her life, she was so proud of all of her children and she treated each one as an individual with different dreams and goals. She truly gave them wings to fly independently. She was giving, caring, always hugged her family and said, "I love you." Wanting to expand her horizons, Charlene learned how to drive at the age of 60. Etsel was a wonderful caregiver for both Charlene and Tom for many years and it was very difficult when Tom passed away in 2006. For the last 3 years, Charlene lived with Judy and her family, who were also wonderful caretakers in San Diego.

Charlene will best be remembered as a mother who loved children. She loved rocking all of the generations of children. She was always laughing and always loving. She was dignified, even to the end of her life, dainty, full of Grace, and a real lady in every way. As she came from a family of warmth and love, Charlene was a true caregiver with compassion. She believed in getting an education and especially for women to be educated. She was such a beautiful woman who attracted people, even though she was reserved. Her children will miss everything about their mother. Sandy called her every day and will miss everything about her. Charlene told Lynne she was her best friend and she had a special relationship with Etsel. For Judy, they were very close. Her mother was her mentor and role model. Her children grew up idolizing her. She was very supportive of her family. In July 1983, when Judy's husband had a near fatal accident and was in a coma for 10 days, her parents were at her house helping her with the kids while she went to the hospital to be with her husband. Even when Charlene could not be at her home, she took one of the kids home with her, so Judy could spend more time at the hospital. She was a big help in getting Judy through the detour she was thrown into and she will be forever grateful for her mother's kindness, support, encouragement and generosity.

There are so many lessons carried on for every generation. Charlene would listen to ideas and encourage her kids to take the next step. Judy took this process and applied it to the raising of her own children, inspiring them to do anything they want, even to become a doctor. BINGO! One did. Charlene helped with homework. She loved to proofread English assignments and loved to add to it. As a result, Judy followed suit with her kids and made homework a fun time and a time to look forward to, not to dread it. She was a strong supporter of higher education and encouraged Judy to continue her education, paying for most of it. She made such an amazing difference over the years. Judy will miss being able to share her day with her and the accomplishments her grandchildren have achieved. She loved to hear about them earning their various degrees, going to med school, becoming a doctor, and listening to the kid's plans for getting married. She was excited at the prospect of the grandchildren having children of their own. Her comment was "It's about time."

Charlene's companionship and words of wisdom will be missed greatly. The entire family will miss those personal moments and getting advice from her. She was a classic mom and she was there for her children 100%. Her advice to her family would be to enjoy your life to the fullest while you still have your health. "Your health is everything."

Before she died Judy asked her if she had seen Dad and she said yes. Judy asked her to say hello to him for her. Charlene would call out his name several times and have conversations with him. With strong Christian beliefs, she gained strength from her beliefs in God and now her spirit is free to soar in Heaven as she is reunited with her husband again.

Charlene was preceded in death by her husband Tom; siblings Bertha, Bill and Clyde; and son-in-law Charles. She is loved and remembered by her daughter Sandra; son Etsel; daughter Judy and son-in-law Tim; daughter Lynne and son-in-law Bob; seven grandchildren and two step-grandchildren; three great-grandchildren and two step-great-grandchildren; three great-great-grandchildren and three step-great-great-grandchildren; extended relatives and friends.

In Remembrance of Mom

I still count on you,
Mom
For so many things –
For your words that encourage,
For your hugs that comfort,
For your gifts of time and help
That make life so much easier,
And most of all,
For your heart
That has spent a lifetime of
loving and giving….

You are the bravest woman I know.
Taking care of you for the last 3 years has been a blessing in so many ways.
You endured so much physical pain and yet thru it all you did not complain.
You have shown me how to push thru and keep on going thru life's challenges and twists and turns in the road ahead with strength, grace and dignity.

You are such a special woman
And I celebrate you
On this day and always,
For everything
That makes you who you are
And especially
For molding me into the person I am today.
You will be in my heart and thoughts now and forever.

All my love, Judy

My Nana was a wonderful woman. She was and will always be a very influential woman in my life. I have learned so many things from her. As a child I spent a lot of time going to her house on the weekends with my mom. We would spend all day hanging out with each other just enjoying one another's company. Sometimes my mom, aunt, nana and I would go shopping with each other. I always liked when my nana came because while my mom and aunt were out looking for the best deal, my nana and I would go get a soda or an ice cream. I have never been a fan of all day shopping and I don't think she was either.

As I got a little older, I would visit my nana on my own during weekends in college. I know going to college was important and made my nana proud. When I went to visit, my nana would always make me the best sandwiches. Numerous times I would try to make one just like she did at my own house and it never tastes as good. We would spend time just talking about nothing of great importance, but it's those memories I will hold with me the most. I genuinely treasure the time I spent with her. She was the type of woman that you could just be with and not talk about anything, but you can't help but walk away with a smile. I think that is a very rare quality for someone to have. She had a way of making you feel so special on just an ordinary day.

With love, Allison Strouse

I will remember her beautiful smile and that she always told me how much she loved me. She was excited about her grandchildren getting married, accomplishing goals and gaining an education. She knew that it's the natural cycle of life and these are events to cherish and celebrate. She was also educated and knew the importance of gaining an education. I learned from her how to be graceful and stylish. I will miss everything about her now.

With care, Jennifer Strouse