Celebrant Pam Meily Vetter


	Celebrating Life Everyone Has A Story...

Dianne Marie Gaffney was born in 1944 to her mother, Donna, and her father, John, in Boston, Massachusetts. Dianne had five siblings. Her mother worked as a nurse and studied piano, giving Dianne an early love of music. While her mother worked long hours, her sister, Maureen, was like a mother to Dianne. When Dianne was little, she was nicknamed Pee Wee because she was so cute and pretty. It was a complicated beginning for young Dianne, but she always looked at the positive in life. After the kids were split up for a time, going to orphanages or foster homes, they eventually reunited at their grandmother's duplex. Dianne was very close to her grandmother Margaret, who the kids called Mum. When the family moved into the third floor of a nursing home, Dianne and Maureen worked at the nursing home. The kids had to grow up quickly, as they worked at a young age.

When Dianne was 12, her mother moved to Tucson, Arizona, for a year to be close to Aunt Dot. Two years later, they moved to Bell, California. Dianne's mother drove the kids in a small car when they moved to Bell. While she went to find a place for the family to live, she had the kids stay in a schoolyard for the day. Dianne's mother was a survivor. She found a place for the family to live and got a job at a nursing home. Dianne's mother married, Bill, and the family moved to South Gate and then Cypress, where her mother taught piano lessons. In 1963, Maureen joined the family in Cypress.

When Bill and her mother owned a 7-11 in Anaheim, Dianne was working at the counter when a man came into the store and bought a Coca-Cola. She gave him his change and a few minutes later, he came back into the store and tried to rob her demanding all of the money. But, Dianne didn't give him any extra money and said, "I gave you your change. Now, get out of here." And he left the store. No one fooled around with Dianne about money. She liked numbers and took it very seriously.

In 1968, Dianne called Maureen in tears. She wanted to be more independent so Maureen picked her up and helped to change the course of her life. Maureen helped her fill out an application to get her a job in assembly work. She also signed her up with a social worker. Maureen threw her a surprise birthday party and gave her a special gift: a dark blue bowling ball. Her favorite color was blue and Dianne loved the gift so much she enjoyed bowling for the rest of her days. Dianne played in bowling leagues and received many bowling trophies and plaques over the years. She loved to bowl and she was good at it.

When Maureen moved back to Boston for a year, Dianne got her own studio apartment and Maureen's friend, Charmaine, watched over her. Dianne worked in a nursing home or as a kitchen helper in school districts. Maureen had taught her in Boston how to use public transportation, so Dianne traveled everywhere by bus. In fact, she knew the bus routes very well and traveled to meet friends. She'd work three hours a day and she embraced finding her independence. She always wanted to work, she wanted to be independent and she was grateful for every moment.

It seemed as though people always looked out for Dianne. When Dianne took the bus into Hollywood near the Palladium, she was mugged and someone stole her purse. She had saved $300 and kept it inside of her purse. Without any money for bus fare, she managed to get home. The next day, her purse was dropped off at her workplace, but the $300 was gone. Maureen was friends with Sid Caesar at the time, who heard about the story. With a kind and generous heart, Sid gave Maureen the $300 for Dianne. Since finding her independence, wherever she went through life, Dianne encountered kindness.

Traveling became Dianne's great love as she traveled to Santa Barbara, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Hawaii, Alaska, and Graceland. With Maureen and Steve, she traveled all over Europe and to Greece and Budapest. Taking an initiative, she went with a group to Switzerland and Germany. She traveled with tour groups and she enjoyed many cruises. Dianne learned from her mother about organizing finances and she used her skills to save money. She also had a great ability to find money and she'd save it for her trips to different states or countries.

Throughout the years, Dianne always loved Elvis Presley because she loved his music and her brother, Johnny, looked a lot like Elvis. She owned many tapes and she'd listen to his songs, especially her favorites such as "Love Me Tender." She also collected Elvis memorabilia. She owned Elvis figurines and collectibles. Even though she didn't smoke, she owned an Elvis ashtray and she owned a rare Elvis gun. Her love of his music was constant over the years as her collection of his music grew. With affection for music, Dianne loved it when Mel Carter or David Whitfield would sing. She'd glow when they visited because she loved their energy and talents. For Maureen's 50th birthday party, they both sang and Dianne loved hearing the beautiful music.

Beyond her Elvis collection, Dianne loved her collection of rings. She had hundreds of rings and she loved wearing them. She had a gift for remembering birthdays and she sent people cards. If she was late in sending a card, she'd show up on a doorstep to deliver it in person. She loved people and being around people. She was happy just to sit with Maureen and Connie and listen to them talk. She also liked to sit with her friends, Jill and June. Dianne had a boyfriend for a while. His name was Robert. She'd take the bus to meet him at Hollywood and Highland, but she'd play jokes on him and get off of the bus one stop early and walk up to see him search for her. She thought it was funny. She ended the relationship after Robert borrowed money and didn't pay her back. She took her money very seriously.

When it came to food, Dianne's favorite meal was spaghetti and meatballs. Her mother used to cook that meal when she was growing up. She also loved fish and Maureen made her filet of sole for her last fish dinner. Dianne loved Coca-Cola, choosing to drink her Coke over water.

Everywhere she went everyone loved Dianne. The best thing she had to offer them was her love and they accepted her. She loved eating at Weiler's Deli and the waiters loved her. Maureen and Steve set up an account for her so she could go and eat at Weiler's. They all knew her at Mel's Diner on Ventura Boulevard as well. She liked to play the music at Mel's. She'd give the people at Mel's the thumbs up when the bathroom needed more toilet paper. She had a heart of gold and she wanted to help when she could.

She was very close to her social worker, Faye. At one point, Faye's schedule was changed and Dianne was assigned another social worker. But, eventually Faye got her back and stayed with her until the end. Dianne only retired from her work with the school district in the last couple of years. She loved her work. She was a hard worker who loved the people she worked with. There are so many pictures of her smiling with friends she made over the years. Wherever Dianne was people looked out for her. One time when someone was following her home, she walked into a building and up to the second floor. She knocked on a door and a couple took her inside to safety. The husband then walked her home. It was this sort of kindness that was extended to Dianne because she was willing to accept help.

While Dianne had strong beliefs in God, she also believed that God made mistakes. She said, "He made me left-handed instead of right-handed." She always thought being right-handed would have been easier.

Dianne was a bridesmaid in the wedding ceremony when Maureen married Steve. She was very close to Steve. She enjoyed it when they took her to the Pechanga Casino. Recently, when they went to Pechanga, they won thousands on the slot machines and gave it all to her. She loved it. She really enjoyed going to the casino and playing the slots. She also liked to find money and save it for a special day.

Maureen and Dianne loved each other so very much. Dianne loved to hear Maureen sing. Maureen says that Dianne was really the "Wind Beneath Her Wings." She always stayed one step behind, giving her all the glory. When Dianne was really the one inspiring people with her positive attitude. Maureen truly helped Dianne find her independence in life as she gave her wings to fly. She called Dianne several loving names throughout her life including baby, sweetheart, dimples and Pee Wee. Dianne was always her baby sister, happy and smiling. Dianne would visit Maureen's home on Saturdays. She enjoyed going to the movies with Maureen and Steve or spending time with them. Steve was like a brother, a father, and best friend to her. He did things for Dianne all the time. He was always nice to her and gave her extra money to take her trips. When she went bowling, Maureen and Steve offered her money if she bowled over a 150 or 175. She always made the money because she beat the goal, bowling a 195 or 200 instead. They had keep elevating the levels because she always exceeded the original goal.

With a love of laughter, Dianne had a dry wit and a great sense of humor. She was feisty and funny. She once bought Steve handkerchiefs with the letter "L" on them. Steve asked if the "L" was for Love, but she said "No, that's the only letter they had left." She used to buy Steve gifts like handkerchiefs or underwear because she liked giving him things.

Dianne's purpose in life was to make an independent life for herself. She got up every day and lived it. She showed a lot of strength and courage to become independent. She didn't like sad stories or to hear people argue. She only liked the positive things in life and she had a great influence on others. Even her doctor, Dr. Josephson, is often reminded of Dianne. When he sees the kids bowling on the video games, he thinks of Dianne and her love of bowling. He described Dianne as a woman who used the life she'd been given and made something of herself.

It was difficult for Dianne when her brother, Marty, passed away. A few years later, her brother, Johnny, lost his life in a plane crash. After burying two children, Dianne's mother died of a broken heart. Dianne talked about her own passing. She said in her own words, "When I die, I know God won't leave me retarded and they won't be sticking needles in me anymore." In her closing weeks, Maureen never told her that she was dying from cancer because she didn't want her to worry and wanted her to have quality life.

Dianne spent her final days at Maureen's home. Dianne was Catholic and an Irish Priest gave her last rites. As Maureen was watching over her, praying to God that she wouldn't suffer, Dianne looked pretty and younger for a moment and then she passed away peacefully. Steve will miss Dianne because she was great fun to be around. Maureen will miss her physical presence, but she has a spiritual feeling that Dianne is at peace and her spirit is free, as they can talk as best friends now. In many ways, she has a new sister, as Maureen can still feel her spirit. They can relate to each other in a special new way. Dianne's advice to everyone would be a simple thumbs up. She was always optimistic and even gave a thumbs up at the hospital. Dianne will be laid to rest with some of her Elvis memorabilia, jewelry and photos. For Dianne, who has traveled the world, a dove release will be held in her honor at graveside so her spirit can soar free.

Whether we are ready or not, some day our lives will all come to an end here on this earth. There will be no more sunrises, no more sunsets, no more movies, no more bowling; no more bus trips, no more things to collect.

All the things we've collected, whether treasured or forgotten (ie. Elvis memorabilia, watches, rings, bowling trophies, cans and bottles), will pass to someone else and the only thing that will last is how long we will be remembered, by whom, and for what. Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident but only by circumstance and choice.

If you reflect back on Dianne's life you can see she chose a life that mattered both to her and to those around her. Dianne did what she wanted and the way she wanted to do it. It didn't matter to Dianne that she was educationally challenged because she knew in the end, God would remove the handicap.

Dianne had hopes, ambitions, plans, dreams and to-do lists like all of us. In watching her and being with her for 25 years it appeared she managed to accomplish everything that had the most purpose and meaning to her.

To Diane, family and friends were of the utmost importance. Dianne cared about everyone and chose to surround herself with people that she thought would care about her. It didn't matter whether they were beautiful or brilliant, whether they were male or female or whatever the color of their skin. All that was relevant and important to Dianne was that she just wanted to love and be loved and surround herself by those people who cared about her in return. Everyone had their place and time in her life and Dianne let them know.

I ask myself upon reflection of my times spent with Dianne, how the value of her days on this earth should be measured?

I tell myself those days will be measured:

§ By what she accomplished, what she did with her life and what she gave of herself and to whom.

§ By her significance to those around her and the memories she left.

§ By every act of compassion, courage, and sacrifice that enriched, empowered, or encouraged other lives she touched.

I also tell myself what mattered to Dianne was not how many people she knew, but how many people will feel a lasting loss when she's gone and the memories that will live in those who loved and knew her.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away"
– Author Unknown

Dianne, I love you and I will miss you greatly (your smile, your gifts, your love, your teasing and your caring).

Dianne, thanks for the beautiful memories and know – you will never be forgotten by me.

Your Loving Brother, Steve