Celebrant Pam Meily Vetter


	Celebrating Life Everyone Has A Story...

Helen Marie (Cottingham) Carter was born in the small town of Kale, Arkansas to her parents Ethel and William “Dock” Cottingham in 1922. Known as Marie, she was raised in the slightly larger town of Prescott, Arkansas. Sadly, her mother died three months after her birth. Her father, who was a farmer, moved back to his parents' farm and they raised Marie together. She was the apple of everybody's eye, as she was adored by the entire family. As a result, she was very happy in life. She never had a bicycle, but she did ride a horse on the farm. She attended a small school, which had a few dozen students in grades 1-12. Even though she was only 5'2”, she lettered in basketball. Marie graduated from high school in Prescott. One of her uncles was a Nazarene Minister and she talked to him about college. She decided to go away to college and lived on campus, while attending Bethany Peniel College in Oklahoma. Marie became very good friends with her dorm roommate at Bethany, Lauvina, and they've kept in touch all these years.

In 1941, during the time of World War II, Marie met Vernon Carter. The couple started dating. Soon, Vernon joined the Army and was sent to California for basic training. He called Marie by phone, told her how beautiful Southern California was and asked her to join him. She wasn't quite ready for the move, but then he proposed marriage. She said, “Yes!” Marie took a train to Yuma, Arizona and the couple was married in a loving wedding ceremony. Eventually, Vern was honorably discharged from the Army because of his eyesight. The couple lived in their first apartment in Los Angeles, which is now the parking lot of the Coliseum. Marie and Vern were adventurous as they went out dancing and met many Hollywood people. One time when they went to listen to Big Band music, they sat and talked with Tommy Dorsey. Marie always loved listening to music. They enjoyed being a young couple and traveled to Las Vegas and Palm Springs. For work, Marie rode a streetcar through Long Beach to the ferry when she worked at Cal Ship. She worked as Rosie the Riveter. She climbed into the planes to do her work, even though she was pregnant. Vern also worked at Cal Ship before becoming an accountant for the City of Los Angeles. Eventually, Vern's family followed them to Southern California and it was wonderful having family living so close by.

Both Marie and Vernon were thrilled with the births of their children Ronald, Sherrye, and Vernon II. Sadly, Ronald passed away when he was only four days old. Marie was a wonderful mother. She really cared for her family. The house was always very clean. When the family went on road trips, she'd go in first and re-clean the hotel room before the family stayed in the room. She wanted to make sure her kids experienced everything in life. She was very involved and supportive of their goals. She served as a girl scout leader and a room mother. When Sherrye took swim lessons, Marie learned how to swim with her daughter in class. At home, she never made anything frozen. Instead, every meal was made from scratch and that included fried chicken, collard greens, and black-eyed peas. She also made soup, sauces, and salad dressings from scratch. Marie exposed her children to a variety of foods from Chinese to barbeque. They loved eating barbeque so much, Marie and Vern opened their own barbeque restaurant. While Vern worked in the smokehouse, Marie made the special homemade barbeque sauce. Sherrye remembers drinking milkshakes as a child at the counter of that barbeque restaurant. When Disneyland was going in, they built an accounting office and motel and moved to Orange County. Marie oversaw the maid staff, while Vernon handled the books. The extended family often got together at the motel. Marie was very close with Vern's sister, Wilma. In fact, she was like the sister Marie never had. And, Sherrye and Vern loved getting together with Aunt Wilma and her children Billy and Charlie. After the kids got married, Marie and Vernon started traveling. They went to the Caribbean, Jamaica, and Tahiti. They also enjoyed many Windjammer cruises.

When her first grandchild, Lisa Marie, was born, from the moment she picked her up, Marie decided that this was what she was meant to do. She loved caring for Lisa all day long while Sherrye worked at the job that Marie found for her. An incredible grandmother, Marie was at the hospital for the births of all of her grandchildren. She was known as “Nonnie.”

The grandchildren have so many memories that make them smile. Nonnie was always there for them. When the grandkids stayed the night with her at the motel, she let them sleep in separate motel rooms with their own TV and she'd give them the key to the soda machine. Marie was an incredible grandmother, who even went on all of the rides at Knotts Berry Farm with the kids. There were many picnics with homemade pies and fresh hand-churned ice cream. The family always celebrated major holidays together. Marie loved decorating for Christmas and always had a real Christmas tree. While other grandmas were "old fashioned,” Marie wore a bikini when she swam with them in the motel pool. As Lisa grew up, she even borrowed Marie's clothes because she was always so stylish.

Through the years, Marie loved listening to music. She enjoyed all music and often hummed “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond. One of her favorite sayings was “Dagnabit.” She had a great sense of humor and she loved to laugh. She was feisty and she could tell dirty jokes with the best of them. Marie loved fast cars. She drove a white Corvette, followed by a Z and then a T-Bird, but she thought the T-Bird was too slow. Marie and Vernon were always the first to try anything new. When they went on a trip to Jamaica once, they brought home Bob Marley records long before anyone here had heard of reggae music. Marie was very independent. She enjoyed reading novels by Jackie Collins and James Michener. She loved eating Mexican food and Marie and Vern even made their own Chili and tamales that were absolutely delicious.

When Vern battled cancer, Marie was by his side every second at City of Hope. He could have changed his plans and stayed home, but he always managed to celebrate Marie's birthdays in a special way. For 13 years, Vernon took Marie to Jamaica and they stayed at the Jamaica Inn to celebrate her birthday every year in November. The last year they went to Jamaica was in November 1984, just before Vernon passed away. Dealing with his death was the hardest part of her life, but she always believed they would be reunited again. Her faith was strong.

When the great-grandchildren were born, Marie was at the hospital every time and sometimes even in the delivery room. As they grew, she got down on the floor to play with the kids and loved all of them. She was always active and in more recent years, Marie went with her best friend, Jackie, to a seniors gym. It was wonderful as there was a whole group of ladies in their 70s that went routinely. Marie really enjoyed her time with her girlfriends.

Sherrye and her family provided great care to Marie over the last eight years. She wanted to be at home and they honored her wishes. In her final weeks, Marie was praying for God to take her. Life had changed dramatically. Sherrye and Eric had noticed Marie's last burst of energy on Sunday night. Then, they saw the signs of her slowing down. Sherrye called Lisa who was at the Colorado River with her family. Lisa and her son Kyle got into the car and drove. All the while, Sherrye and Eric were telling Marie that Lisa was on her way. Marie waited for her “Angel Baby” to arrive and a little more than an hour later she passed away peacefully. Eric and Kyle were holding her hands. Lisa was kissing her face, while Sherrye was stroking her hair. They all told her, “I love you.”

Looking back over her life, everyone was welcome in Marie's world. She never believed in prejudice as she took her family to fancy restaurants and down to the ghetto to eat at the best barbeques. She lived her life unafraid. Through the years, she was very affectionate. She always said, “I love you,” to everyone in the family and gave hugs often. It's only fitting that the last words she heard were the words from her family saying, “I love you.” Marie's purpose in life was to be a wonderful mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. When the kids came to visit, she still loved it and was smiling the whole time. She was a beautiful lady who will be remembered as loving, fun, and outgoing. As Eric says, she was a firecracker and a pistol. Her advice to everyone would be to have fun and enjoy life, because life is too short. Her family will miss everything about her, especially her smile and the twinkle in her eyes. Marie believed in God and heaven. Her family feels she's at peace and has been reunited with her husband and a whole lot of friends and family members.

Marie was preceded in death by her parents and brother; husband Vernon; sons Ronald and Vernon II; and grandson Vernon III. She is loved and remembered by her daughter Sherrye; grandchildren Lisa Marie, Eric, Lynnette, and Bucky; eight great-grandchildren Kyle, Chelsae Marie, Jake, Cebrina, Noah, Alex, Shawn, and Leo; extended family and friends.

Memorial donations are welcome to City of Hope for the cure of cancer www.cityofhope.org.