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Celebrating Life Everyone Has A Story... |
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Click here to listen to Jim Stacy's welcome... James Bradley Stacy was born in Charlotte, North Carolina, to his parents Amy Elizabeth and James Henry Stacy in 1943. There were nine years between Jim and his older sister, Amy Rad. She'd dress baby Jim and take him almost everywhere. Jim would often laugh and tell the story when Amy Rad dressed him up and took him for a walk in her baby doll stroller. When passersby would look into the stroller they would be taken back when they saw a live baby Jim in the doll stroller. They were very close. His mother was a truant officer and an elementary school teacher, while his father served in the military and he was also a dentist. Sadly, his father died unexpectedly when Jim was only a year and a half old. Jim grew up in Winchester, Kentucky. His sister played the card game Canasta with him, as their mother encouraged her to "Let Jim play." Amy remembers their mother used to read murder mystery and detective magazines as bedtime stories. It never bothered their dreams. As a result, Amy Rad and Jim enjoyed murder mysteries for years to come. When Amy married at the age of 18, Jim wanted to go on her honeymoon thinking it sounded like a grand adventure. Growing up, Jim always appreciated music and he was talented in playing the drums at Clark County High School. He was also a fabulous dancer. His talents were noticed at school when he earned the "Best Dancer" award in 1962. He went on to attend Eastern Kentucky University, where he majored in music. His life changed when Janet, a friend, introduced him to her sister, Paula. The couple went out dancing and they had a lot of fun together. They both worked as keypunch operators and programmers on the old mainframe computers. Paula and Jim married in 1966 and had three children: Liz, Vicki, and Amy. Jim was in the United States Air Force during the Vietnam War. Serving primarily in London, England, he was captain in the US Air Force Drum Corps. Returning to the states, the family moved West as Jim was stationed in Denver and Las Vegas. He had a deep appreciation for music and shared that love with his daughters. At home, he watched every musical and listened to classical music often. When he and Paula participated in community theatre as actors, the kids would sleep in the dressing room during the late evening rehearsals or they'd put them in the show. The kids really grew up in the theatre. When Jim decided to make a change in his life by living his own truth, Paula and the girls moved to Los Angeles. After selling their home and finishing up in Las Vegas, Jim also relocated to LA to be close to his daughters. In 1977, Jim was in a classic LA lounge, when he heard a beautiful singer by the name of Michael Stern. Beyond his musical talents, Michael was also an actor who performed on the stage opposite Walter Matthau, Dorothy Lamour, Jane Powell, Debbie Reynolds and Christopher Reeve. The couple connected on many levels. But, Jim told Michael upfront, "If you want me, you take my girls, too." Michael happily agreed and he was like a second father to the girls. Jim found his life partner for the next 27 years in Michael. Even though they were very different, they also enjoyed some of the same things. They both loved music and the theatre. They also shared a love for Jim's daughters. If the girls needed shoes, Michael didn't hesitate and bought them shoes. Whatever the girls needed, Paula, Jim and Michael were there for them. Michael was outgoing, social and easy to talk to. The girls could tell Michael anything. As a father, Jim was clear, loving, consistent and supportive. The girls spent every other weekend with him and he always made them feel important. He was doting, complimented the girls, and told them they were beautiful. He'd take Liz to ballet class on a motorcycle and when the other girls were taking ballet, he'd ferry them back and forth one by one on the motorcycle. He attended all of their events and recitals. In fact, he volunteered to operate the lights and the video camera. He'd barter his time in exchange for classes at the dance studio for his daughters. While Liz and Amy enjoyed ballet, Vicki eventually took up acting, ice-skating, and playing flute instead. Jim believed it was important that the girls had good hobbies and interests. He wanted to give the girls pride in themselves and them to value something that they could master. He was involved, present and a constant in his daughters' lives. Working together to raise their children, Jim, Paula, and Michael were good parents who spent many Christmas' together. Jim and Michael settled into a comfortable partnership, as they had a private ceremony between the two of them and exchanged wedding bands. When Amy was ten, she bought the couple two silver wedding goblets as a Christmas present. Michael so appreciated the gesture, he always recognized their wedding anniversary on Christmas day. Michael loved to cook and he was an incredible chef. When the girls visited, they always had delicious meals. Jim was always there for his daughters. He told the girls, "If you ever need me to pick you up, just call." He wanted them to be safe and know that they could call him no matter what. One late evening Vicki called her dad from a party where her friend had been drinking. Jim came and picked up Vicki and her friends and took them all home safely and didn't mind when one of them even got sick in his car. Liz was grateful for years of ballet that led her to professional dancing career. Jim never wanted to miss a performance or event pertaining to any of his daughters or grand children. With pride, he traveled to Las Vegas to see Liz on the stage for Nevada Dance Theater as well as his granddaughters for their dance recitals. He also traveled to see Amy's performances in San Diego. Wanting to be with his children, he went out of his way to be with family, visiting Vicki often in Las Vegas. Michael was also very involved throughout the years. There's a wonderful picture of the entire family at Vicki's college graduation that speaks volumes to the family relationship. Professionally, Jim worked for 40 years in the computer industry. He served as tech support for all of his friends and family. Jim and Michael lived in Corona for over 10 years, as Michael started the Corona Civic Light Opera where he produced musicals and even received support and grants from the mayor and City Council. It was important for Michael to bring high-quality theatrical entertainment to the Inland Empire with musicals. While Jim worked in the computer industry for decades, he was very involved in community theatre and he was so very proud of Michael's success. Never forgetting his roots, a few years ago, Jim traveled with his sister, Amy Rad, to St. Louis and they drove to Kentucky for a special visit. They stayed with friends and had great fun on that trip together. With many favorites in life, Jim loved the theatre and watching films. He loved to repeat funny lines from movies and comedians. That trait was passed down to his daughters and even his grandchildren. Performing in plays and musicals was fun for him. He was always helping or performing. If someone asked him to be in a show, he always said, "Yes, I'd be pleased to be in the show." He enjoyed all sorts of music from classical music such as Samuel Barber to "Hotel California" by the Eagles. He followed the Olympics, as his favorite events were ice-skating and gymnastics. Jim was also a lover of animals. With a love of pets, he had many dogs over the years (mostly basset hounds); Harriett, Little Chap, Earl, Snickers, Hershey, Bradley, Rita, Toot and even a cat named Batman. His pets were like family to him. Next to eating Michael's gourmet dinners, Jim's favorite pastime was eating out at restaurants with friends or family. His favorite dessert was Pecan Pie and he enjoyed eating at Mimi's. A coffee drinker, Jim liked hot coffee and he was also fine if the coffee was cold. He was never a complainer, but accepted life as it came. Jim always made his family laugh and smile when they got together. After his daughters grew up and married, they still gathered for Thanksgiving and the girls took turns hosting Christmas. When the grandchildren were born, Jim was thrilled with each new addition. He was known as Papa Jim, while Michael was known as Papa Michael. Dylan joked with Papa Jim that there were babies in his belly and they had a fun relationship. When Devan had soccer camp at Pepperdine, and Vicki needed help getting her there, she flew Devan in from Las Vegas and Papa Jim was happy to drive her and a friend to Malibu for camp, saying "It would be my honor." He wanted to help with the grandchildren and he was definitely a part of their lives. Andrew and Papa Jim had their own connection with computer games and video games, while Ian and Papa Jim had an incredible connection that was so special. They'd run lines from the film "Up." Interestingly, Ian would take on the role of the 78-year-old Carl, while Jim would take on the role of the 8-year-old Boy Scout named Russell. They'd switch roles as they had the lines memorized. It was a fabulous and fun performance every time. Ian is the exact image of Jim when he was his age. They were very close buddies. When Michael passed away, Jim had two very difficult years adjusting to the loss. He wore both of their wedding bands for the rest of his days. The ladies from the Shakespeare League took Jim in and it was great support. Liz attended Rikki's tap dancing classes with her father and it seemed to be a good therapy to get out and socialize during that dark time. A move to North Hollywood with his friend of 35 years, Don, was good for him and he saw a spark of light in his grandchildren, which helped tremendously. Jim was a big part of his daughters' lives and even had the keys to their houses. He was always happy to babysit and spend time with his grandkids. He did his laundry at Liz's home every weekend. He'd take Andrew to baseball practices and he was Andrew's biggest fan at baseball games. He'd also take Ian to speech therapy and he liked playing "solitaire" with Andrew. He even had a car seat in his car, so he was always ready to lend a helping hand. In many ways, he molded his life to fit his grandchildren. His purpose in life was raising his family and he did that honorably. With a love for acting, singing, and dancing, Jim performed in many local musical productions. In March 2009, Jim, Amy, Liz, Dave A. and Andrew performed in "The Wizard of Oz" for the Shakespeare League of Pasadena. It was great fun. He was also helping with a Shakespeare Club fundraiser for an upcoming Broadway Retrospective. Even though it was an all-women's club, Jim was an honorary member. The last months of Jim's life were poignant as he lived life actively. Last September, Amy's husband, Dave B. organized a trip to Yosemite and it was one of the best times Jim had with his daughters and grandchildren. It was a great trip as they spent time lakeside on Labor Day weekend. They stayed in cabins and had great fun enjoying hiking, and eating breakfast, lunch and dinner together. In October, he participated in the National Equality March on Washington D.C. It was fitting as he performed in 1979 with the Freedom Band in the very first National March for Lesbian and Gay Rights in Washington D.C. For fun, Jim appreciated taking cruises. Jim and his sister, Amy Rad, went to Mexico for a three-day cruise many years ago. Then, four years ago, they went on a wonderful cruise to Hawaii. October 2009 marked the most memorable adventure for Jim: The Disney Cruise. Jim and Amy's family enjoyed the cruise so much that they wanted to plan to take another Disney Cruise with the rest of the family. In November, Jim traveled to Sacramento to visit his sister. He always made the effort to keep in touch and spent a week or two weeks with Amy Rad and her family up north. This last Christmas, Jim's former wife, Paula, flew to LA and spent time with him. They really had quality time and they appreciated the time they spent together. In a way, Jim reached out and Paula got the opportunity to say goodbye. Weeks ago at the beginning of February, Jim and the family traveled to Vicki's home to celebrate her birthday in Las Vegas. Jim went around the party with his video camera and interviewed everyone. He was also the designated driver. He had a blast on that trip, creating many special memories. In the days before he passed, everything was normal. He cared for Amy's dog while her family was on vacation and he went to Liz's home to do his laundry. He performed in a play he was going to perform in again on February 27th. And he texted Vicki with an answer to a Shirley Temple movie question just hours before he passed. In his final conversations with his children, he said as he always did, "I love you," to all of them. Jim passed away unexpectedly, leaving his family and so many close friends in shock. On the 27th, Jim was to perform in the play, Polterheist. Since they couldn’t perform without him, the cast gathered that evening to comfort each other and honor his last performance on the 14th. His friend, Donna, described Jim as "her rock," and many other friends agree with that assessment. Jim was funny and filled with love. His love was "unconditional" as his daughters could do no wrong in his eyes, and his life was all about love. Liz will miss the hugs, the laughter and the jokes. She will miss him especially when she dances. Vicki will miss her "tech support". As he was always there to help her with anything; from computer, video or photography issues as well as every-day life questions and emotional support. Amy will miss seeing him with Ian as they had an endearing relationship. Amy didn't know who was more excited to see Papa Jim, her dog or Ian. Of course, Ian was the one who exclaimed, "Papa!" when he saw his grandfather arrive at their home. His sister, Amy Rad, will miss her wonderful brother who raised his daughters and loved his grandchildren. She will remember him as a great listener, a good friend and brother, as they talked by phone every other day. Jim set an example as a good father and that is his legacy. Even his daughters' friends admired him as a father. Every time he talked to his daughters, he always ended the conversation with the words, "I love you." He did the same in his e-mails. He was always there for his daughters. Instead of dropping into their lives now and then, he made a choice to be a part of their lives and accommodate their schedules. He was very open to every opportunity. He'd go hiking if the family wanted to go hiking and he even went to Yoga class with Amy's husband and enjoyed it. In all his days, he was very proud of his daughters and grandchildren. He was enjoying life and wanted to live his life the way he wanted to. His advice to everyone would be: Enjoy moments with each other and appreciate those you love. As he always showed his family and friends a spirit of love, Papa Jim will absolutely be remembered with a smile. Jim was incredibly spiritual. He believed in God and his spiritual foundation was strong. After Michael passed away, he visited Jim a few times. Jim always believed that he would be reunited with Michael one day. As Jim and Michael's ashes will be laid to rest side-by-side at Forest Lawn in the Hollywood Hills, their grandchildren will lay letters in the space along with their wedding bands. Jim was preceded in death by his parents and his partner, Michael. He is loved and remembered by his daughter Liz and son-in-law Dave; daughter Vicki and son-in-law Scott; daughter Amy and son-in-law Dave; grandchildren Devan, Dylan, Andrew and Ian; sister Amy Rad; nephew Mark and his wife Terry; nephew Jerry and his wife Lisa; cousin Britt and his wife Patti; cousin Mary Pat; confidants Judy and Don; the Shakespeare League ladies and many close friends. Memorial donations are welcome in Jim Stacy and Michael Stern's names to the American Heart Association www.AmericanHeart.org |
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