Celebrant Pam Meily Vetter


	Celebrating Life Everyone Has A Story...

Kathleen Rae Barker was born in Aberdeen, South Dakota, to Elnora and Richard Barker in 1949. Kathy was the second born of four daughters, joining Joyce, Peggy and Donna. The girls were raised Catholic with strong beliefs in God and heaven. Sadly, Kathy's older sister, Joyce, died unexpectedly at the age of 13 after contracting pneumonia. It was difficult for the family, but they supported each other. Grandma Barker had a great influence on Kathy, as she was the sweetest grandma who taught her sewing and crocheting. In 1961, the family moved to Southern California. Kathy always hated the cold, so she was happy with the move. Her sisters describe Kathy as the angel of the group as she took care of everyone. Her father was a truck driver for Dairy Fresh, while her mother worked for Sears and Cal Western Paints in bookkeeping. At home, Kathy helped with the cooking and cleaning. In fact, she chased her younger sisters out of the house until her parents came home from work, so the house would look perfect. Through Kathy's help, the house was always clean and dinner was always ready. In school, Kathy was academic and she liked to read. She excelled at Rowland High School. Her dream was to get married one day and have kids.

When she met a young man by the name of Kenneth Clay Coffey, who was visiting Southern California from Oklahoma, she was smitten. He asked her out and they started dating. She called him Kenny and the couple fell in love. Kathy and Kenny exchanged the traditional wedding vows as they married in a lovely ceremony in 1966. The reception was held at her parents' home. Although the couple was young, they built a life together. They were happy to welcome their first born, Theresa, into their lives. The family moved to Oklahoma for one year and then in 1968, the couple returned to Southern California. They settled in Rowland Heights, renting a home near Kathy's family. One day, when Kenny came home from work, Kathy had painted each room, including three bedrooms and two bathrooms, a different color. She had a busy day as she took on the project full tilt. The landlord came over one day and when he saw the different colors, his eyes popped wide open. Kenny took it in stride. Eventually they repainted the walls and in 1973, they bought the house. Eleven and a half years after Theresa was born, they were thrilled with the birth of their second daughter, Tiffany. Kathy had worked most of the day before Tiffany's birth. Kenny was allowed in the hospital room to share in the joy.

As a mom, she was supportive to both of her daughters. Family was a priority. When the kids went shopping with her, she had them hold her purse strap so they never got lost. When the kids were old enough not to need a baby-sitter, they phoned Kathy at work when they came home from school so she knew they were safe. Tiffany didn't like staying overnight at friends' homes because she missed her mom. Both Theresa and Tiffany had close relationships with their mom and she always made sure they were safe. It was something that carried over into college and adulthood, as the girls called their mom regularly. She always supported her daughters' dreams and interests. When Theresa played soccer and softball, Kathy always volunteered to be team mom and Kenny volunteered to serve as assistant coach. Kathy also attended all of Tiffany's ballet and tap dancing performances. Kathy's talents for sewing were great, as she even created detailed clothing for Theresa's dolls. She sewed Halloween costumes for both of the girls. Kathy hand-made sorority dresses for Theresa and helped her make a huge, beautiful pillow in less than two hours. It was a talent she shared with Tiffany, teaching her how to make burp clothes and blankets for the girls. She also bought Theresa her own sewing machine one year. Using her creative abilities, she loved crocheting baby blankets for other people, especially for her two granddaughters Keira and Karissa.

Professionally, while Kenny built his career working at TRW, Xerox and Cal Western Paints, Kathy grew professionally as well. Early on, she worked at Leonard's Department Store as the manager of the toy department. Theresa remembers she loved it when her mom worked in that job, because she could visit her mom at work. From 1976 to 1998, Kathy worked at Nutri-Metics International Skincare & Cosmetics in sales administration, order processing and customer service. She was particular about her appearance, always looking beautiful. She'd style and tease her hair, often changing not only her hairstyle but the color as well. She had a nice figure, taking pride in how she dressed, and always wore high heels. Most importantly, everyone felt welcomed in her world. She liked talking to people, as she was a good listener and a people person. Spending time with people filled her battery, as she was never worn out. She loved spending time with the family as well. When the kids were young, they enjoyed using the camper and going on vacations to Rosarito Beach, The Colorado River, Big Bear and the Salton Sea with family and friends. Kathy and Peggy enjoyed water skiing in those early years. There were summer vacations in Oklahoma and South Dakota visiting family. For many years, the family has spent time at the Colorado River near Needles. The river vacations were always fun and she could carry a conversation during the entire three to four hour drive. Kathy was a sun goddess who loved laying out in the sun for hours or sitting in her little chair with an umbrella. She liked to monitor everybody else to see what they were doing on the outings, making sure that everyone was prepared and having a good time. Safety was always first and Kathy made sure everyone wore life vests on the river.

Kathy's favorite holiday was Christmas. She loved shopping for presents. When they bought a real tree, Kathy invested her time in choosing the perfect Christmas tree. At home, she took her time in decorating the tree with a personal touch. Santa Claus often sent the kids gifts and Kathy gave her daughters the gift of believing in the magic of the holiday. Christmas seemed never ending, as the presents filled up the room. She wanted everyone to enjoy the giving of the season, as big stockings were overfilled. It took an hour for each person to go through the gifts in the stockings. Her joy was in giving, as she liked to see other people happy. She encouraged everyone to open their presents first as she waited to open her gifts. The family took notice and encouraged her to open her gifts as well. Each year of the Christmas holiday marked an incredibly fun event. Jeff remembers she loved cool gadgets that she bought for him, because he didn't even know he needed them sometimes but he loved each one. He especially appreciated the rice cooker, rotisserie and meat roaster. Kathy baked a really great feast at both Thanksgiving and Christmas. She also believed in celebrating birthdays together with extended family. A great cook, she loved collecting recipes in magazines. Over 25 years, she had amassed a nice collection of cookbooks, dating back to the 1940's. Recently, she passed some of those cookbooks onto Donna.

While she was conservative with her money, she also loved to gamble. On the way to the river, there were many Indian casinos and she enjoyed playing the slot machines. Once or twice a year, she'd go with family to Las Vegas or Laughlin. One time when Kenny and Jeff went back to the room at midnight, Kathy stayed up until 4 am playing the quarter machines, as the quarters stacked up in the tray. When she cashed out another time, she pulled vouchers from her purse that amounted to more than $400. On her last birthday, her daughters took her to the Pechanga Resort & Casino and she had so much fun.

Kathy had a great love of animals. When she worked at Leonard's Department Store, she fed a white stray cat. Finally, she took the cat home and it turned out the cat was pregnant. The family kept one of the kittens and found homes for the others. The girls remember always having pets growing up such as dogs, including Corky, Suzie, Patches, Lady and Bridget. Most recently, her white American Eskimo dog, Nikki, was her buddy. After Kenny saved a parakeet from a hawk that had chased it into the garage, he took it in as a pet and bought it a friend. They named the parakeets Sky and Timber. Over the last few decades, Kathy collected beautiful ceramic winged owls. She loved owls so much. Her amazing collection consisted of owls from the Bahamas, Solvang, and most recently from Cabo San Lucas which was a gift from Theresa and Jeff.

Kathy's favorite food was pasta or macaroni and cheese. While she hated milk, her favorite beverages were 7UP and later, she loved drinking Pepsi. As her favorite flowers were roses, she loved gardening, taking exceptional care of her pink, white and yellow roses, trimming them regularly in her backyard. She cared for her huge hanging spider plants that were more than 30 years old. The hummingbirds were welcome at her home, as she filled the bird feeders. While she liked the color blue, she also liked the color pink. She looked beautiful in her pink sweater. Her favorite magazines were Good Housekeeping, Family Circle and Home & Garden. When it came to having her voice heard, Kathy never voted until the last election. She felt she had to vote. She voted and she was proud of that moment.

When family visited Kathy, they always got a hug. More recently, she became more open with her feelings. Her family remembers Kathy for her strength, independence, and intelligence. She wasn't afraid to share her opinions and her family admired her for many reasons. She was so proud of both of her daughters and their accomplishments. She was especially pleased with Theresa's graduation from Cal State Fullerton and Tiffany's graduation from Mt. San Antonio College. She was very proud that Tiffany was pursuing the nursing program. Although she didn't see her become a nurse, Kathy believed in Tiffany's abilities to continue on and reach her goals. Most recently, Kathy's greatest joy was being a Nana to her granddaughters Keira and Karissa. She enjoyed giving into them and loving them, as she shared a positive influence of pure, unconditional love with the next generation. Keira remembers that, "Nana hugged me and kissed me and did nice things for me. Now, I hug my mom because she's like hugging Nana."

Over the years, Kathy kept many mementos including the girls' baby shoes, Theresa's baby rattle, and every card the girls ever gave her over the years. She saved the bassinet that was passed down through the generations. It has the name of every child who used it along with the dates written on the bottom of the bassinet. Kathy was so helpful to both of her daughters when they got married. She will best be remembered for being strong, honest, loving and brave. She always put others before herself and she liked making other people feel good about themselves. She wanted to be helpful because it brought her happiness. She treated others honestly. The family is grateful everyone was together recently for a birthday party for her cousin, Christy, in Victorville. In her final days, she was trying to communicate, trying to say, "I love you." In the end, she was surrounded by family. Kathy's entire family believes they will be reunited with her one day, but they also feel she is with them all the time. They have sensed her spirit and feel she is at peace. Kathy's advice would be to cherish every moment. She would want you to choose to do things that make you happy and don't worry about the small stuff. Her family will miss talking with her and the regular phone calls of support and love.

Kathy was preceded in death by her sister, Joyce, and her father, Richard. She is loved by her mother Elnora; husband Kenny; daughter Theresa and her husband Jeff; daughter Tiffany and her husband Chai; granddaughters Keira and Karissa; sister Peggy and her husband Bobby; sister Donna and her husband Victor; many loving relatives, friends and neighbors.

As Kathy was easy going and accepted people for who they were, the one song that captures her spirit in life is Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath My Wings." We love you, Kathy, and you will always be a part of our lives…