Celebrant Pam Vetter


	Celebrating Life Everyone Has A Story...

Loss Changes Lives
Contributed by: Pam Vetter

5/23/07 Valley News Article

For a parent, there is no greater loss than the loss of a child at any age. Claudia Quinn knows that pain all too well because she lost her son Philip Quinn.

When a lava lamp exploded in an accident in Kent, Washington, a piece of glass pierced her son's chest. It took only three minutes for him to die. His parents found his body. Philip was only 24-years-old and father to a 15-month-old daughter named Payschence.

"We think because the lava in the lamp was not flowing, Philip apparently tried to get it warmed by holding it over the lowest setting on the stove," Claudia explained.

For the family, the first reaction was shock. While the story made national headlines, the family was making funeral arrangements. Their first call was to the family church. Unfortunately, because it was approaching Christmas, the church said it was too busy to conduct the funeral service.

"When my son died in November 2004, we had no minister and we would not settle for a cookie-cutter service at the funeral home, so we made his funeral a family affair," Claudia said.

"Phillip was more than just another generic service," added Jeanglee Tracer, Philip's aunt.

"We put together a video collage, story boards, a friend sang a very meaningful song, we used Josh Groban's song 'You Raise Me Up,' and we also had several family speakers who took the podium to share stories," Claudia explained. "The most amazing part of the service came when we played a special song. With the birth of Philip's daughter, his genre of music changed. We brought in a Care Bear riding toy that played a Care Bear song. He liked playing that song for his daughter and it had meaning. When it started playing, immediately his young daughter started dancing during the service. While it was bitter-sweet dancing, watching her made everyone smile and realize this was his legacy and his future. The entire service had meaning."

"Philip's death and his funeral service changed our lives," Jeanglee said. "We've both done hospice and when we found a Social Work magazine article about Funeral Celebrants who personalize services, it made perfect sense to both of us to take the training because of Philip. We didn't know there were alternatives to funeral service before experiencing it ourselves. It's healing to share stories and focus on a life story rather than walking through the motions of a generic service."

"Now, we have a passion for providing services to families," Claudia said. "We want to listen to a person's grief and we want them to know someone cares. For me, not a day goes by that I'm not impacted by my son's death, looking for meaning."

"It's a hole that never gets filled. Every time you look at Payschence, we know how much he loved her," Jeanglee added. "Every service we conduct will be in his honor. Like in a graveside service, I said with a balloon release that we're giving permission to fly. We have also allowed Philip to fly."

"For my father's service, we didn't know alternatives existed either. It was a suicide and so the entire family got together at home and talked," Claudia said with a smile. "We sat around and shared stories from his life."

"We want to give families a choice," Jeanglee said. "This is our passion."

"The funeral was so important because it was the last thing we could do for Philip. I needed to speak out and say how much he meant to me," Claudia said with tears in her eyes. "People need to be heard. When loss is so deep, so unexpected, so young, there is healing in a meaningful service. Philip was the kind of guy who made you laugh and enjoy life. We want to help families capture the spirit of their loved one as well."

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