Celebrant Pam Meily Vetter


	Celebrating Life Everyone Has A Story...

She was born Phyllis Vernon in Cleveland, Ohio, to her parents, Katherine and Vinton, on June 5th, 1924. She was raised with her brother, Dean, in North Hollywood. Her mother was a stay-at-home mom, while her father worked as a sound mixer in the music and film industry where he found great success. In fact, he was Henry Mancini's sound mixer and he worked on the film "West Side Story." When Phyllis was young, her parents divorced and later her mother remarried Robert Spenceley.

Phyllis and Ted met at North Hollywood High School. Following graduation, Ted headed off to the Navy, while Phyllis patiently waited for his return. She was very involved in the war effort during those years. After he finished his service honorably, Phyllis and Ted were married in Reno, Nevada. They bought a piece of property in Sherman Oaks and started building their own home. Phyllis said they'd do the digging of the dirt with buckets. When they finished the garage, they moved into it and saved their money to build the rest of their home. Piece by piece, they built their future together.

Ted was working in the film industry as a grip, when he broke away and started his own construction business. He was truly a pioneer in the construction business in the San Fernando Valley. Side-by-side, they built that business together, as Phyllis worked in the business and was always a strong influence on Ted's business and success. She also was the glue that held everything together at home.

Phyllis embraced her role as a mother to their two children, Cheryl and Doug. She was a wonderful mother who was active, supportive and involved her children's lives. She was the President of the PTA, a Girl Scout Leader for Cheryl, and a taxi driver to all of the baseball practices and games for Doug. She never missed any of those games, even later on, when there were three games in one day. She was always Doug's number one fan. She also embraced children's charities by volunteering her time and making donations.

In 1953, Ted and Phyllis designed their home in Northridge. It was such a beautiful home and designed to perfection. It was their home for the rest of their days. They took pride in home ownership and gardening was very important to Phyllis, and the beautiful grounds of their home showed it.
Ted had built one of Frank Sinatra's homes and during that relationship, Frank invited Ted and Phyllis numerous times to go to Las Vegas to stay at the famous Sand's Hotel. Phyllis was in seventh heaven and she loved Frank Sinatra's music for the rest of her days.

Holidays were so very important to Phyllis, as Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas were held at home with extended family. For Easter, the entire family, about 50 people, joined together to celebrate the holiday. When Cheryl and Doug were growing up, they decorated lots of eggs for the Easter Egg Hunt. When the grandchildren came along, the Easter Egg Hunts continued and the kids would always jump into the pool afterwards. Nothing could stop an Easter gathering, not even an earthquake. When an earthquake hit at Easter time, the great-grandchildren, great-nieces and nephews rode the waves in the swimming pool. Even though she was in a wheelchair, Phyllis insisted on planning the most recent Easter celebration, only a few weeks ago, for 30 to 40 people and that featured the Easter Egg Hunt for the great-grandchildren, great-nieces and nephews. Easter has always been the biggest holiday of the year at their home.

There was a lot of traveling over the years as Ted attended building conventions and construction trips. Ted and Phyllis thoroughly enjoyed those conventions and trips with close friends, Ken and Dorothy Burgonon and Gordon and Sylvia Davidson. They also traveled to Russia, the Mediterranean, and Europe. They went to Japan and did some sightseeing when Doug was playing baseball there.

Phyllis was an incredible organizer and she organized numerous ski trips. She liked taking all of her friends to her condo in Telluride and they enjoyed going to Mammoth with Cheryl and Doug and their friends. Although Phyllis never skied, she always had a table set up with food when everyone else came off the ski lift. Every night, she oversaw dinner plans.

There were river cruises, a Scandinavian cruise, and a trip to Tahiti. They traveled all over the United States with friends who were flying enthusiasts, and they had many adventures traveling in their own plane with Ted as the pilot. Phyllis enjoyed seeing the world. Her favorite vacation spot was Hawaii. She was proud that they took one of the first voyages of the SS Lurline to Hawaii. They traveled to Hawaii many, many times. Phyllis and Ted took their two grandsons to Hawaii on a special trip and then on another trip to Hawaii, they took their two granddaughters. They had a great time. Ten years ago, to celebrate Thanksgiving, the entire family took a trip to Hawaii.

Phyllis was an extremely positive person! She always looked for the brighter side of life. Like Norman Vincent Peale, who focused on the theory of positive thinking, Phyllis always found the silver lining no matter what the situation.

She loved having her wonderful grandchildren and great-grandchildren. They all called her "Grandma." And, her nieces and nephews and great-nieces and nephews called her "Aunt Phyllis." She was truly loved and respected by every generation.

With many favorites in life, her favorite flowers were roses. She was always excited to see her Camellia and Azalia bushes bloom. When they bloomed, she blossomed, too. Her favorite color was lavender and she even had a lavender bathtub.

She was an avid reader of daily newspapers and periodicals. That would include the LA Times and other local newspapers. She was always informed, talked about current events and sent clippings to family and friends. She also enjoyed reading novels by Norah Roberts.

With a love of animals, she enjoyed the companionship of dogs and cats her entire life. If a stray cat showed up at her home, that cat had a new home. One of her favorite pastimes was feeding the squirrels and birds outside of her round breakfast room every day. She'd drink her coffee and loved watching the show these little creatures put on.

Phyllis loved going out to restaurants, but she was really an entertainer extraordinaire. She loved to throw a party and bring people together. There were always parties at their home. For the 4th of July, they held parties for their friends and family at their home in Malibu. If there was a reason to have a party, Phyllis was happy to host it.

In honor of Ted and Phyllis' 60th wedding anniversary, Cheryl and Doug's families joined together for a week-long cruise to Alaska. They had a fabulous time.

Phyllis was truly devoted to the people in her life. She recognized that life comes with good and bad, but she always thought the good outweighed the bad. And, you had to do a lot to upset her. She was always willing to give someone another chance and help them. She had an amazing ability to forgive and forget. She did her best to pass that spirit onto her grandchildren, as she communicated with all her grandchildren regularly. The grandchildren knew that they could call her any time and they would all receive her love and attention.

She had a wonderful sense of humor and a very "up" personality. If you called her or stopped by, she'd always had time for you. She also had life-long friends for many decades. She was extremely close with her friend from childhood, Barbara Ayres, who lives in Houston now. And, she adored her friend, Sylvia Davidson, who lived across the street. They raised their families there on Oak Park Avenue. Phyllis was a comforting presence in her neighborhood, and truly, her friends became like family.

Phyllis was patriotic, proudly displayed the flag for the United States of America in front of their home, and she was proud to be an American. Both Ted and Phyllis always supported our country, as they were a part of the greatest generation.

After Cheryl and Doug grew up and moved on with their adult lives, Phyllis became even more involved in her charities. She was proud of her charity work with The Assistance League, Spastic Children's League, The Hilltoppers, and the March of Dimes. She took an active role in all of her charities and she passed her beliefs in charity involvement onto her children. More recently, Phyllis was strongly supporting the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation in honor of her great-grandson, Beckett. Phyllis had such a big heart for giving. She still attended her charity meetings as recently as last month. She didn't miss meetings, because they were her obligations and she took her responsibilities seriously. It was her way of giving back to her community. She also wrote a lot of checks to charities that sent materials to her home. If a charity sent her an envelope, they probably received a check from Phyllis in return. She was thoughtful.

Sadly, in 2008, Ted passed away. It was very difficult, but Phyllis managed to move forward. She still had her responsibilities and visited their real estate properties to make sure everything was running smoothly. Again, she showed that pride in ownership.

Decades earlier, Phyllis had taken such great care of her own mother after she suffered a stroke, and her children made sure there were caretakers with Phyllis at all times. She needed the help, she liked having the company, and she enjoyed holding court with them. No matter her physical condition, she was always in total control of everything until the end. She was hands-on in her approach, as she liked having her house and everything else in order.

When Phyllis went into the ICU, her charities expressed great respect for her role in the organizations. The Hilltoppers even asked if it would be alright to have a meeting at someone else's home that didn't have wheelchair access. They wanted to make sure Phyllis wouldn't mind and she didn't mind at all. She was just sad that she couldn't attend.

In the end, Phyllis was still talking to her family. Especially, about baseball. With Doug's professional success as a major league baseball player, Phyllis was an avid Angels fan. Through the years, she'd call Doug and ask, "Did you see that play?" Doug and her grandson, Tim, were by her bedside an hour before she passed and she told them, "That bullpen for the Angels; they just blew another one. And, they might just blow the entire season." She knew everything about baseball and she loved to watch the games.

As she was about to undergo a test, her final words to her family were, "Let's do this." Although her dying wish was to be in her own house, her family feels that she knew the time had come. She passed away peacefully with Cheryl and Doug by her side. After her passing, all of the ICU nurses were emotional, because Phyllis treated them so nicely.

Her family feels she is at peace and they will be reunited again with her one day. For now, she's reunited with her husband, Ted, and this day she will be laid to rest by his side.

Every Thursday, Phyllis had her hair done. The entire family knew that if they called her on Thursday, she'd be busy. Corky, her long-time hairdresser, came to Forest Lawn and did Phyllis' hair one last time. That's the way she would have wanted it.

Cheryl and Doug will miss their mother's unconditional love. She was their rock. They could always rely on her, and she could always rely on them. Everyone in the family will deeply miss Phyllis' amazing presence.

Her purpose in life was to help people and be there for them. She was always willing to help. She had a great enjoyment in her family, as her family came first. Her home was the central stopping point for everyone who visited and she loved being the matriarch of the family. Doug said it best – "We are who we are because of her."

Phyllis was preceded in death by her husband, Ted; her brother, Dean, and grandson Chad. She is loved and remembered by her daughter Cheryl and Ray; son Doug and his wife Kristi; grandchildren Justin, Tim, Amy, and Katharine; great-grandchildren Delaney, Riley, Paige, Brody, and Beckett; extended family and many friends.

Click here to link to Ted DeCinces' online memorial.